I never imagined things quite like this…
If you would have asked me three years ago if I would have imagined that life would have worked out this way, I most likely would have looked at you like you were crazy. This isn’t how things are supposed to be. This isn’t what I wanted, what I pictured.
Sometimes I wonder if what I’d pictured is what I’d really want. Sometimes I’m glad that things have turned out the way that they have turned out. Sometimes I take little moments out of the day to thank goodness that I’m where I’m at right now. I believe that everything happens for a reason, sometimes I just don’t know the reason.
If some of the bad things hadn’t occurred in my life, who knows where I would stand today. It’s hard to be in this situation, but I do all that I can. I’m putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward in the only way that I know how. I’m trying to form relationships and bonds with people that will be good to me, however, I’m keeping one thing in the back of my mind. In August, I’m leaving this little podunk town. Where I’m going, no one knows. College somewhere. And when I leave none of these people will matter anymore.
Ultimately, I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to advance myself to the next stage in life and that’s something that I need to remind myself of everyday. It’s easier said than done, of course. I don’t want the next couple of months to be miserable, but I have to ultimately do what is right for myself.
